Poetry Mission About Cheeseburgers!
This week’s poetry mission comes from a Wed night Open Mic assignment we came up with a couple weeks ago. Olatundji Akpo-sani (Co-host of the Burnt Toast readings and Co-Publisher of Baobob Tree Press) had written a poem about cheeseburgers that he wasn’t too sure about, but that everyone else who’d read it tended to like it or thought it was great.
He insisted that it wasn’t very good, so we decided to see who could out-shitty poem him. Whoever wrote the worst poem about cheeseburgers won. A half dozen of us accepted the challenge (I’d be publishing all of them below but I haven’t collected them yet and typed them up, complete first shitty cheeseburger poem examples coming soon, you’ll be able to find them under the ‘submissions’ page on Illiterate). We wrote our poems and read them together, perhaps to the background sounds of Billy Jean, or maybe not. It’s all blending together now.
The point is, it’s a lot of fun, writing shit poems about a cheeseburger, and now I’m charging all of you out there in Illiterate space-computer land to write and post your own shitty poem about cheeseburgers (I’ve typed up the one I wrote at the open mic below).
They can be long massive things or as short as half a haiku. You can write about cheeseburgers as literal cheeseburgers, or the cheeseburgers can represent the boy or girl who never loved you or the Sarah Palin that has to step down from her job as Alaskan Governor (alledgedly)because her baby-eating superiors from her original planet of origin have recalled her back to the Home World to face disciplinary action for acting like a lunatic and losing the election.
Or your cheeseburger can be a pretty lake, or the secret photos that have been taken (alledgedly) of Todd Palin ass-raping the dead corpse of the King Of Pop (the existence of which may have also played a part in the current Alaskan Governor’s job-quitting exit)
Or your cheeseburger can be something else.
until next week,
iloveyou
Rob
The Worst Poem about Cheeseburgers
In The World
Your two all beef patties
special sauced
between the cheese
& pickled onions
of my long, long
sesame seed bun
these patties
have left me
side orderless
and lonely
with a two year old condiment
still hanging loose
in the pocket
of my pants
and sad
I remember our better
days though
before you ketchup’d
all over that other
man’s
meat cleaver
The night I declared war on mayonnaise!
When you said cheese
back then
that means you love me
only you meant it
the other way
leaving me un-happy meal’d
with my balls
dangling
in a deep fryer
sizzling, goodbye
p.s. haiku
when I think of you
rotting in hell I think of cheeseburgers
Thanks White Castle
Comments
You must be signed in to comment.
caroskiJuly 23, 2009
how interesting! my codes disappear... must be something about FOOD Inc. Cheeseburgers=mangled everything+delicious+shameful X yum
caroskiJuly 23, 2009
when you said CHEESE back then, that means you love me codes wait I got one, CHEESEBURGERS BREAK INTO MY HOUSE AND GET MY ATTENTION this is a test here's an ITALICS test