Nazis Get Me High, Barrack

Nazis get me high. Can’t help it, always been that way since I heard Dad tellin’ me about killing ‘em back in the war while we sat on helmets he picked up on the beach at Normandy. A vast machine of belief arrayed to change the world. Incredible technologies behind them, deft policies in the streets. A Third Reich, a rebirth. Strutting around in polished boots chanting slogans like “Change we can believe in” and “Hope in the Homeland.” If you’re really a fanatic you can get hired for good wages to accost your fellow countrymen and be sure they vote the right way. Today even, a day before we elect the Anti-Adolf to run the West, I’ve got one cold-calling me while there’s another banging on the door and me without the shotgun handy. Sure enough, the nation is in rally mode, if the Obamanoid can just come up with a Green Volkswagon and put us back to work, we could have our own Autobahns too. See? Thank you, Nazis. Now let’s just hold hostage the families of all the country’s best innovators (let’s use economics instead of force this time, shall we?) so we can get them to pump out some great new tech like Schwimmwagons, jet engines, and rocketry for the masses. But ya know, there’s still gonna be those poor and disaffected, those who don’t believe in The Change, those rabble-rousing poets and black-hoods and people who are still ‘community organizers’, and some of them might even have prior drug or traffic offenses, people like my friend Brad Will who the Nazis killed in Mexico ‘cause they couldn’t get him here, and right now the Nazis are working on the solution, the (H)SS (Homeland Security Servitors) have their crowd control unit FEMA building slaughter houses just in case some of the less desirable populace come down with Mad Voter disease and need to be re-educated via euthanasia. Get me high on the fume of censored words burning, Nazis! Give me automated tanks to rumble across the landscapes of Amerika the Beautiful. I want drones in the sky, I want fiber-optic taps in my shower, I want to know that no matter what my sexual preference(s) I’ll only ever be respected if I have a nuclear family, complete with fallout shelter (called an IRA these days). Once this nationalistic jingo fever gets ramped up tomorrow, I know I can count on the Nazis of Conformity to just PC me right the fuck outta they way. As well they should. I’m radioactive. Spent too much time reading books. In Africa they beat the shit out of you (at least) for voting the wrong way, but in Amerika I won’t be able to get my complimentary espresso, ice cream, or sex toys from the very vendors supporting the person that I’m supposed to vote for if I don’t, in fact, vote. It’s a Brave New World coming where you won’t actually have to pay for things anymore, try that for consumer freedom, you just have to believe in the party line. And, much as I admire these Nazis, I’ll have to stick to the wilderness, the No-Go Zones, the cracks where cell phone coverage fades away and try as they might the Nazis just can’t maintain the infrastructure and I won’t be able to receive their calls. Because somewheres and sombodies are going to have to be sacrificed for the greater good, for the survival of the Homeland, and our migraine-inducing places and populations would seem to be the target of choice. It may not be so easy this time, a person’s heritage is not a signifier of belief anymore. Anybody can be sold now, right into the Democratik party, the moral majority, and become a fervent Nazi too. Blue Blazer Irregulars are waiting in grinning ignorance to flip the switch for the next Buckaroo. The Obamanoid’s new Hitler Youth oughta do the trick nicely. Party at a collegiate institution at the taxpayers expense in return for being indoctrinated with the ethics of the majority for a couple years. You can blow up innocent populations or you can rebuild them, whichever suits you, you can still get credit for perpetrating the fraud of government. You. You’re the next generation of potential believers. Nazis get me high just thinking about the possibility of 100 million rabid “Yes We Can” voters. Look the fuck out there, Allies, Neighbors, and Beligerent Nations. Nazis get me high, and I mean high like Ilsa, Shewolf of the SS, whacked out on Hitler’s personal coke. Imagine what the mobs will demand if you fuck with us now. All that scrambling around in massed belief KNOWing they’re right, just pushing those Republikans back down into their missile silos and putting the blinders on whenever they see a man in a dress or some fine free canine humping in the park, I mean that there’s penis out of it’s sheath and don’t look honey, you don’t ever want one in your mouth. Except behind closed doors, in the hypercritical heavens of transport center lavatories, where only the government can watch and maybe a few indie reporters, but otherwise it’s a steep wall of cultural infatuation with lies to describe every relationship, lies we don’t even realize, little Nazi lies we tell ourselves while the babysitter’s dad gets hauled away, lies they can’t help because saying what you mean, doing what needs to be done, giving your best effort is a thing long gone from Amerika. Instead we have Nazis of all flavors and those idiots who text too much and don’t use their turn signals.

Heil Obama!

i really think

i like it!

needs work.

Comments

RobGeisenMarch 2, 2009

This is a crowd favorite at the Wed Night readings at the Burnt Toast. Good to see it in print. Bravo, fucker.
SimoneJanuary 16, 2009

Strong voice, interesting messages, and some valid points, if this Obamanoid does says so herself. I appreciate the unbroken format of the piece creates an air of rant, which I understand is the point, but it's kinda' hard to read. There are many parts in the piece where a new paragraph would have been in order. Or perhaps forsake paragraphs, so fascistic, but find another way to accomidate the reader.
AdamJanuary 9, 2009

In this stream of conscious call to arms, was the small font and lack of paragraphing intentional?